Work in Progress and a Three Legged Chihuahua Named Enzo

I’m not writing anything right now, but I ran across this description from a project I was working on before everything happened and I just loved it, so maybe, when the time is right, I’ll get back to this story and these characters. Gotta love a dog and a man who loves one!

There’s a scratching at the screen door and Cal smiles. He gets up from the swing and opens the door for Enzo, his three-legged chihuahua terrier mix, adopted almost a year ago at the Beaver County Humane Society. The dog comes out, sniffs the air a bit, and saunters over to the swing. He’s on it before Cal even has the chance to sit back down.

“You get around better than most dogs with all four on the floor,” Cal says, grinning and falling in love all over again with the little guy. “Hell, you do better than most two-legged critters.” 

Enzo has been his inspiration, his guiding star, his hope, and his salvation ever since he signed the adoption papers. He’d been abandoned, hit by a car—hence the amputation—and generally thrown out like a piece of garbage, at only two years old. And yet, Cal knew someone had once loved him. When he brought Enzo home, Cal discovered in short order that the dog was not only completely housebroken, but also trained to sit, stay, fetch, shake hands, and even roll over. In the car, Enzo insisted on the window nearest him being down, so he could stick out his head and sniff. 

Cal wondered who this mystery person was, this dog-lover who’d obviously had much love for the little brown-eyed dog, who’d invested a lot in his care and training. What had happened to that person? What had brought Enzo to the sad state of affairs where he was discovered on the side of the road, bleeding, leg broken, and drawing his last breaths? He wouldn’t have lasted much longer had not a good Samaritan happened by who took him to the Humane Society.

Now, the dog lay next to him, curled into a tight little ball, snoring.

Cal thought that, even though Enzo had been a kind of savior to him, his own personal Jesus, if you will, he was also part of the cause of Cal’s isolation and—at times—loneliness. It was too easy to give up on people when you had such an amazing canine companion by your side. 

Enzo never judged, loved unconditionally, and always listened.

How many people could Cal say the same about?

Five Weeks

It's been five weeks today since you left. I go through the motions in this new life I never asked for, feeling an enormous void, and overwhelmed at facing and viewing the world as an I rather than a we.

While I'm grateful for the many friends and family who have stepped up to ease this burden, I still feel profoundly alone. And numb. And unsure if I can go on.

It may appear to you that I'm handling this loss with grace and strength. But that's all it is--an appearance. Inside, there's an almost constant yearning for a life I'll never have again. It's not just Bruce that's gone, but our life together, deeply changing who I am.

And who is that person? I'm not the guy I was nearly 23 years ago when Bruce and I first met. Nor am I the person I was eight months ago, just before this horror began.

I found a kind of dubious strength and honor in being a caregiver and a witness to a life of someone I love dearly in rapid decline.

Turmoil, on both a personal and global scale, seems to be the constant theme these days.

I know my only solace, really, is in how I react to all of this. Part of me wants to simply stop the world so I can get off. Part of me knows that, with the aid of memories, of gratitude for love, of my own personal determination to keep putting one foot in front of the other, is the only way I can, maybe not triumph, but cope.

BLUE UMBRELLA SKY My Best Novel Set in Palm Springs

Once in a while, a reviewer really "gets" what you're trying to do with your work. Gay Book Reviews is one example: 

"We are introduced to two terribly broken men. Milt, in his 40’s, has suffered through the painful loss of his life’s great love. He is determined to inure himself against future pain by living in solitude, which he also deems best to honor his late husband. Billy, a younger man, has experienced the youthful loss of his sobriety, and with it his hopes for a good and productive life. He is aggressively fighting to preserve his renewed sobriety with AA.

"The reader need not fear. Perhaps mindful of that standard redemptive religious precept that, 'what is broken shall be made whole.' Mr Reed guides us to the HEA promised in the blurb, laced with all the proper plot fits and starts. He also judiciously uses the occasional flashback, often a risky device, to better shape our understanding to Milt’s and Billy’s reality. Surmounting the difficult experiences with dementia and alcoholism, Milt’s and Billy’s very fractures call out to each other. Milt’s loneliness generates a need in Billy: Billy is seen by Milt as a handsome, tanned dreamboat even Milt’s late husband would have desired.

"The satisfaction in this novel is easily summed up in the heroes’ recognition that those things they need come to each of them when they are ready. And this is possible because love isn’t meted out – the world is made of love and there is more than enough available."  

ABOUT THE BOOK

Milt Grabaur has left his life, home, and teaching career in Ohio to start anew. The Summer Winds trailer park in Palm Springs, butted up against the San Jacinto mountain range, seems the perfect place to forget the pain of nursing his beloved husband through Alzheimer's and seeing him off on his final passage.

Billy Blue is a sexy California surfer type who once dreamed of being a singer but now works at Trader Joe’s and lives in his own trailer at Summer Winds. He’s focused on recovery from the alcoholism that put his dreams on hold. When his new neighbor moves in, Billy falls for the gray-eyed man. His sadness and loneliness awaken something Billy’s never felt before—real love.

When a summer storm and flash flood jeopardize Milt's home, Billy comes to the rescue, hoping the two men might get better acquainted… and maybe begin a new romance. But Milt's devotion to his late husband is strong, and he worries that acting on his attraction will be a betrayal.

Can they lay down their baggage and find out how redemptive love can be?

BUY
Amazon

NineStar Press

What If?

 

As a fiction writer, the question, “what if?…” has always served me well in crafting a story. But now, what if has crept in to my actual life, causing fear and stress.

What if I lose my Medicare?

What if I lose my social security?

What if the future I counted on is no longer there?

These are the what ifs that have me waking at 2:30 in the morning. They are the what ifs that cause my belly to fill with dread, my heart to beat faster, and for me to greet the world with despair, rather than hope. 

But what if…

…I let go of these dire what ifs and embrace joy and hope anyway? 

If I say, “what if things don’t go as I fear and the road ahead of me is bumpy but also filled with joy, comfort, and love? What if I tend to my heart and choose happiness over despair, despite a future that looks very dark indeed?” Will I have a better outcome if I choose worry over hope?

No. Because outcomes are out of my control. I can live only in the present. The only thing I can control is: will I greet my day with heartache and pain? Or will I take to heart the notion that my reaction to the world and what may or may not come to pass is the only real power I possess? 

With that power, I may not move mountains, but I can move my mind and my heart toward living the best life I can. 

Choose #happiness. Choose #joy. 

Turn away from fear because fear can’t do a single thing to change the future.

BANNED BOOKS and A Wrinkle in Time

While walking the dogs this morning, I spotted this sign on the grounds of the elementary school near our house. It took me right back to my grade school and my excitement when we'd have a chance to order books from Scholastic.

I particularly remember getting Madeleine L'Engle's A WRINKLE IN TIME. I was enthralled with that book and it became one of my lifetime favorites.

The #memory also saddens me because I know that A WRINKLE IN TIME is now on #bannedbooks lists and I hate to see kids deprived of this wonderful, inspiring, and mind-expanding story.

I'm certain it contributed to me becoming the #writer I am today. #scholasticbookfairs #WrinkleInTime #books

COVER REVEAL for Jealous of the Clouds

 

Today, I’m #grateful for moody book covers. Here’s the cover for my October 25 release from Spectrum Books.

And here’s the blurb, just in case you’re curious:

Ted Cornish thought he’d found the man of his dreams in Joshua Kade—charming, intelligent, and handsome—until disturbing rumors surface about Josh’s past. A decade earlier, Josh’s former boyfriend, Reggie Baker, was found stabbed to death in an alley in Chicago’s Boystown. Though Josh was never convicted, whispers of his involvement persisted.

True-crime podcaster Bailey Anderson is reopening the case, and the more he uncovers, the more he’s convinced Josh is the killer. Bailey reaches out to Ted for insight, and as Ted reflects on his relationship, he begins to see cracks in Josh’s perfect facade—jealousy, possessiveness, and violent outbursts that no longer match his sweet words.

As Ted spends more time with Bailey, the evidence against Josh mounts. But Bailey is more than just a podcaster—he’s Reggie’s brother, driven by grief and a relentless desire for justice.

When Ted finally confronts the terrifying possibility that Josh is guilty, Josh reacts with a violent threat that sends Ted into hiding. Torn between fear, love, and loyalty, Ted must choose between exposing the truth or confronting the man he thought he loved—before it’s too late.

Jealous of the Clouds is a heart-pounding psychological thriller about love, obsession, and the dangerous pursuit of justice.

NEW BOOK! Jealous of the Clouds Offered Publication Contract by London's Spectrum Books

Thrilled to announce I just signed a publishing contract with Spectrum Books for my psychological thriller/romantic suspense novel, JEALOUS OF THE CLOUDS. Not sure of details yet, but it should be out in 2025 in both paperback and ebook editions. #amwriting #publishing #grateful

WHAT JEALOUS OF THE CLOUDS IS ABOUT

Ted Cornish thought he’d found the man of his dreams in Joshua Kade—charming, intelligent, and handsome—until disturbing rumors surface about Josh’s past. A decade earlier, Josh’s former boyfriend, Reggie Baker, was found stabbed to death in an alley in Chicago’s Boystown. Though Josh was never convicted, whispers of his involvement persisted.

True-crime podcaster Bailey Anderson is reopening the case, and the more he uncovers, the more he’s convinced Josh is the killer. Bailey reaches out to Ted for insight, and as Ted reflects on his relationship, he begins to see cracks in Josh’s perfect facade—jealousy, possessiveness, and violent outbursts that no longer match his sweet words.

As Ted spends more time with Bailey, the evidence against Josh mounts. But Bailey is more than just a podcaster—he’s Reggie’s brother, driven by grief and a relentless desire for justice.

When Ted finally confronts the terrifying possibility that Josh is guilty, Josh reacts with a violent threat that sends Ted into hiding. Torn between fear, love, and loyalty, Ted must choose between exposing the truth or confronting the man he thought he loved—before it’s too late.

Jealous of the Clouds is a heart-pounding psychological thriller about love, obsession, and the dangerous pursuit of justice.

***

Release date and other details are still to be determined, but I would expect to see the new book out within a few months.