Hop Against Homophobia & Transphobia: The Signifiant Difference Between Gay Marriage and Straight

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia and myself, along with many other writers, are blogging about, basically fear, tolerance, and acceptance. I have chosen marriage equality as my topic, because, as a gay man who was legally able to wed (something I never thought I'd be able to do) at the end of last year, the topic is near and dear to my heart. And my husband's! 

Be sure to check out all the other blogs today and prepare yourself for some fascinating reading! See the complete list below.

BONUS! Leave a comment on the post below, and you will be entered to win a FREE copy of my novel, BASHED,

which is a love/ghost story revolving around a horrendous hate crime and how a survivor, through the power of love, begins to heal. Winners will be announced to May 27. Leave an e-mail so I can contact you if you won and get you your book!

Okay. Enough intro stuff. Here's my post:

The Significant Difference between Gay Marriage and Straight Marriage
 By Rick R. Reed

In December, when my partner and I became husband and husband (one of the first in Washington State to do so—hooray for Washington!), people asked us if we felt different. At first, it seemed like a question from out in left field. After all, Bruce and I had been together and pledged to one another for a decade already when we said our vows.

But it did feel different. It’s hard to explain, but once we had the rings on our fingers and our friends had witnessed our simple yet heartfelt ceremony, a sea change did occur in our relationship. We both felt more committed, like more of a family. I can’t explain it, but I bet a lot of married people out there will understand the simple difference.

It was a very nice change—and one that took me a little bit by surprise. But this got me to thinking about another difference. What’s the difference between gay marriage and straight marriage? Aside from the obvious gender thing, what separates gay marriage from straight?

I wasn’t sure. I could tell you how it was the same:

• It was two people in love, pledging their lives to one another. 
• It was a commitment entered into joyfully and with the intention of staying together for the rest of our lives. 
• It was predicated on the idea that we would share everything—meaning, to paraphrase the classic vows—the good times, the bad ones, the sick ones, the healthy ones, the rich and the poor ones. 
• It made both of us know that we had a family in the other, someone with whom we would share celebrations and hard times, vacations, holidays, and life events. 
• It represented a commingling of our two heretofore separate families, both of which welcomed us, as they always had, with open arms and treating us both as though we were blood. 
• It meant that our house was a home. 
• It meant that certain things might not be celebrated, but they would be tolerated—impatience, grumpiness, how we look first thing in the morning, to name but a few. 
• It let us imagine an old age where we would not be alone. 
• It let us picture a future into which we might jump, hand-in-hand, with fewer questions and worries.
• It meant that my treasures were his and his were mine. 
• It meant that we could rely on each other. 
• It meant that we loved each other, above all others. 

So what was the difference? I wondered. And then it hit me: here is the difference between gay marriage and straight (scroll down):





 (Keep scrolling)










(You can stop scrolling now. Get the picture?)

I saw a meme on Facebook once, those clever sayings presented as a picture and it said: Gay marriage, or, as I like to call, it—marriage.

And that’s key.

Dreamspinner Press 6-Year Anniversary Continues!

From May 13-19, Dreamspinner will offer 30% off all books (including in-stock paperbacks) by authors who signed with us in our fourth year of business. That means all my Dreamspinner titles are on sale this week. Here's a list of all the awesome authors included in the promotion:

Jeff Adams, Diane Adams, Sarah Black, Jessie Blackwood, Louise Blaydon, Ashleigh Brannigan, Selina Brody, Sue Brown, Cardeno C., Scotty Cade, Talia Carmichael, Allison Cassatta, David Cheater, Alan Chin, Elizabeth Coldwell, Shae Connor, William Cooper, R. Cooper, Kate Cotoner, Justine Currie, Charlie David, Jessica Skye Davies, Andi Deacon, Zoe Devlin, Dawn Douglas, Ryssa Edwards, CJane Elliott, Phoenix Emrys, Jeff Erno, Pepper Espinoza, Etienne, Feliz Faber, J.L. Farnsworth, Jamie Fessenden, P.A. Friday, Rebecca Lynne Fullan, S.A. Garcia, A.B. Gayle, Evan Gilbert, Michael Gouda, Raev Gray, K. Roxanne Gunn, Red Haircrow, Michael Halfhill, Nick Hanson, Lou Harper, Lesley Hastings, Lori C. Hawkins,Valentina Heart, Ellee Hill, Brian Holliday, Azura Ice, Morgan James, Hayley B. James, Kiernan Kelly, M. King, Christopher Koehler, Maggie Lee, Rebecca Leigh, J.J. Levesque, Augusta Li, Pearl Love, J.R. Loveless, Ryan Love less, Barry Lowe, Sui Lynn, Jake Mactire, Helen Madden, Sarah Madison, A.J. Mars, Anna Marie May, Belinda McBride, Moria McCain, Farida Mestek, T.C. Mill, Maria MoonStar, Michelle Moore, Ian Muise, Clancy Nacht, Elizabeth Noble, J.L. O'Faolain, M.J. O'Shea, Stephen Osborne, Timothy Owen, D.V. Patton, SJD Peterson, Wolf Phoenix, Nora Catherine Price, Amber Redd, Rick R. Reed, Tracy Rowan, G.G. Royale, Jaime Samms, Rodello Santos, Stefan Seabourne, Damon Shaw, Kate Sherwood, Corinna Silver, Ruth Sims, Joel Skelton, Amberly Smith, Shelter Somerset, JoAnne Soper-Cook, Andrea Speed, Caroline Stephens, Ethan Stone, Jan Suzukawa, Paul Taylor, B.G. Thomas, Tinnean, C. M. Torrens, Jenny Urban, Wynn Wagner, Felicia Watson, Mia Watts, Cooper West, Sullivan Wheeler, Braden Williams, Maureen Willman, Eden Winters, Lisa Worrall, Connor Wright, Beth Wylde, Sulayaman X, and C. Zampa.

 

Cover Reveal: FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

I'm excited to share with you the cover for my June release, a short I wrote in collaboration with the wonderful Vivien Dean. Cover art is by Trace Edward Zaber and it really gets across character, setting, and how this is a story told in letters between two men for whom more than distance gets in the way of their feelings.

The story releases from Amber Allure on June 23.

BLURB
 Tate D’Angelo always believed he knew who his father was. Beloved doctor, devoted husband and father, a kind soul…these were the words shared by everyone who came to his funeral. So when his father’s old college buddy, Randy, approaches him after the service, Tate expects to hear echoes of the same.

What he gets is almost a lifetime’s worth of letters that tell him so much more and cause him to view his father--and his family--in a whole new light.

The truth--about a secret love kept buried for decades--astonishes him. Overwhelmed by grief and confusion, he’s unsure if he can bear hearing how the lives of these two men entwined over the years, but he reads on anyway, discovering more to value, more to respect, and most importantly, more to love about the man who raised him.

Gay Romance Revue Is Live!

My new video venture, Gay Romance Revue, is now out! Watch as myself and fellow gay romance authors Poppy Dennison, Jacob Flores, and M.J. Mj O'Shea talk about pop culture, m/m books, and friends with benefits.

New Interview at Sid Love

I had the pleasure on Thursday of being interviewed by m/m romance author, Sid Love. Check it out and see what kinds of things are percolating through my twisted little brain. Leave me an impertinent comment.

Read a lot. Write a lot. There are no short cuts. Not if you want to be any good, anyway.

Read the interview here. 

Guest Blog: "You Don't Want to be Known As a Gay Author" by Mark Allan Gunnells

You don’t want to be known as a gay author. 

I was told this by more than a few people in the biz when I first started publishing. I didn’t take much offense, as I understood what they were trying to say to me. At the time I was publishing mostly horror and fantasy fiction, and my publishers were worried that the typical heterosexual fan of those genres might be put off if they thought my stuff was excessively “gay” and might shy away from my stuff.

I understand it, but I don’t agree with it. As a gay man, I don’t shy away from stories that deal with heterosexual characters. My gay characters I think are relatable to any reader because I believe much of what humans encounter in life transcends things like sexuality, and there is a commonality that we all share. And that being said, I don’t believe you have to be able to directly relate to a character to enjoy that character. It’s sometimes fun and interesting to read about characters who lead lives drastically different from your own. Are there people out there who will refuse to read a book by a gay author no matter what said book is about? Sure, but I like to think they are becoming the minority.

In the end, the fears some of my publishers had turned out to be unfounded. My books didn’t blaze up the best seller’s list, but sales didn’t seem to be impeded by my use of gay characters. In fact, the primary audience for my books has been heterosexual horror fans. I even received some notes from readers that said they really appreciated the way I take typical horror scenarios and set-ups, and cast them with characters that are not usually represented in such fiction.

So being a gay author didn’t seem to hurt me with the straight audience.

And then came my newest published novel, THE EXCHANGE STUDENT. With this one, I’m stepping outside the horror/fantasy genre. The plot of the novel does have a sci-fi element, involving time travel, but at its core, the book is a love story between two young men. There have been love story elements in other books of mine, but this is the first one where that takes center stage. I had a blast writing it, and am very proud of the work.

But found myself unsure how to go about promoting it once it was published. I hope that some of the readers of my horror/fantasy books will follow along on this new journey, but I fear that the romance-heavy aspect may make some of them think twice. So I feel I may have before me the task of courting a whole new audience.

Which is exciting but also frightening. For pretty much the entire time I’ve been publishing, I’ve marketed to a predominately horror audience. I’m familiar with the message boards, the Facebook and Goodreads groups. I know certain reviewers for horror stories, and places I can guest blog. I had a whole system set in place for each new book.

And now I have to start from scratch. It is daunting…but as I said, is also kind of exciting. As an author I don’t want to become stagnant, don’t want my writing to become stale. I want to write different kinds of stories in different genres, to stretch myself, expand my literary horizons. Which means I must meet the challenge of promoting to different audiences depending on what I’m publishing.

And luckily I know folks like Rick who are generous enough to give me guidance, advice, and even the use of their blog. I’m finding new sites, new reviewers, new groups, and hope I will be able to reach a new audience for my work. Romance readers, gay readers…horror readers, straight readers…all are welcome.

You don’t want to be known as a gay author. 

I’m fine with it, as long as I’m known as a gay author with range.

THE EXCHANGE STUDENT can be purchased at:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
AllRomance Ebooks
 

RAINING MEN Now Available for Pre-order

I'm happy to announce that my latest novel, Raining Men, is now available for pre-order at Dreamspinner Press. The book will be widely available on May 31, but for now, you can reserve your copy in ebook or paperback.

Pre-order paperback
Pre-order ebook

BLURB

Sequel to Chaser

The character you loved to hate in Chaser becomes the character you will simply love in Raining Men.

It’s been raining men for most of Bobby Nelson’s adult life. Normally, he wouldn’t have it any other way, but lately something’s missing. Now, he wants the deluge to slow to a single special drop. But is it even possible for Bobby to find “the one” after endless years of hooking up?

When Bobby’s father passes away, Bobby finally examines his rocky relationship with the man and how it might have contributed to his inability to find the love he yearns for. Guided by a sexy therapist, a Sex Addicts Anonymous group, a well-endowed Chihuahua named Johnny Wadd, and Bobby’s own cache of memories, Bobby takes a spiritual, sexual, and emotional journey to discover that life’s most satisfactory love connections lie in quality, not quantity. And when he’s ready to love not only himself but someone else, sex and love fit, at last, into one perfect package.