10 SILLY QUESTIONS WITH KIERNAN KELLY
RR: If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you eat?
KK: Stephen King, and the menu would be based on his book titles. We’d have Cujo burgers with a side of Children of the Corn on the Cob, and Carrie Blood Pudding (too gross? Nah, it’s Stephen King – he’d get it), along with a big, fresh Salem’s Lot o’ Lettuce Salad. Then we’d top it off with a Firestarter Cherries Jubilee.
RR: Who do you think you are?
KK: You know, sometimes I’m not sure. I might be me. Maybe. Unless I’m you. Am I you? How do you know? Ooh, maybe I’m Stephen King. If I’m him, could you have him please forward his royalty checks over? Thanks ever so much.
RR: What’s your problem?
KK: I am Queen of the Procrasti Nation. Seriously, I should have t-shirts made, but I keep putting it off.
RR: If you could have one wish, would you give it to me?
KK: Sure! If by one wish you mean ten. You do mean ten, right? Because why would you only give me one wish? Are you a wish tightwad? Are you hoarding wishes? You have all the wishes and you only give me one, and expect me to give it back to you? What the hell, man!
RR: Where you at?
KK: I be in Florida. Unless I’ve been sucked into a random wormhole, in which case I could be anywhere. Even right behind you! Ha! Made you look.
RR: If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be?
KK: Only one? What is it with you and giving people only one of things? One wish, one vice… You know, now that I think on it, maybe my vice would be greed. *shifty eyes*
RR: What’s your favorite brand of cereal?
KK: That’s an easy one. I like Quaker Oats because have you seen the Quaker Oats guy? He’s hot, in a puritanical sort of way. I keep wanting to see him hook up with the Lucky Charms guy. Admit it – you’re picturing that in your head right now.
RR: When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?
KK: Edward Scissorhands.
RR: Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference?
KK: The ground doesn’t refuse to fit into my skinny jeans.
RR: Do you have anything you’d like to plug?
KK: There are several random holes I feel strongly could use a good plugging, but in the interest of keeping people reading this from running out into traffic screaming, I won’t go into details.
BLURB FOR MAMMOTH
To replace another of the artifacts they accidentally destroyed, Grant and Ash must travel further back in time than ever before—ten thousand years, to Paleolithic Virginia Beach. They quickly realize that in this time, food doesn’t come from a supermarket, and if they want to survive, they’ll need to learn skills like hunting and fire-making.
Merlin’s magic won’t return them to their time until they locate a mammoth talisman, but this time, they’ll need to do more than find the object. They’ll have to earn it—along with their manhood names—in a dangerous hunt. And before their latest adventure ends, they’ll have to help an injured young man and convince two rival tribes to work together. It might be a different environment, but they soon see that human hatred and fear are universal. Luckily, so are love and compassion.