10 Silly Questions with Victor J. Banis

Today, I start a new series on the blog, Ten Silly Questions. I posed ten silly questions to authors you should know in the firm belief that the answers to these questions would be more illuminating than the more serious ones we usually see, like "tell me about your process" "what inspires you?" "who influenced you?". They may be silly, but each week you'll learn a lot about a different author and, hopefully, be inspired to read more of his or her work.

This week, we have gay icon Victor J. Banis. I am letting Victor run roughshod over my careful interview format. But, as I always say, age before beauty...

Here's how Victor responded. Be sure to check out his bio at the conclusion of our very silly--and very revealing--interview.

1. If you could invite any famous person DANIEL CRAIG, dead or alive, I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S ALIVE for dinner, what would you eat? DANIEL CRAIG
2. Who do you think you are? THE LUCKY GUY WHO'S GOING TO EAT DANIEL CRAIG. HE'LL NEVER RECOVER
3. What’s your problem? HE'LL NEVER RECOVER
4. If you could have one wish, would you give it to me? NO. I'M SELFISH. I KNOW YOU, YOU'D SNATCH DANIEL CRAIG RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER MY NOSE - OR, WHATEVER HE'S UNDER AT THAT INSTANT.
5. Where you at? AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT, IN MY FANTASY, JUST DOWN TO HIS BUSH. THAT IS WHY I AM WRITING QUICKLY, SO I CAN GET BACK TO IMPORTANT STUFF.
6. If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be? I USED TO DATE A VICE OFFICER. I DON'T KNOW. HE WAS KIND OF DULL IN THE SACK. YOU'D THINK HE'D HAVE PICKED UP SOME IDEAS.
7. What’s your favorite brand of cereal? VODKA
8. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble? BROOM HILDA - BUT ON ONE OF HER GOOD DAYS
9. Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference? INTERESTING QUESTION - I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHS OF BOTH ON MY DESK AND I STUDY THEM PERIODICALLY SO IF THIS ISSUE EVER COMES UP I WILL BE PREPARED.
10. Do you have anything you’d like to plug? WE'VE ALREADY DISCUSSED HIM - PLUG, EAT, PLUG AGAIN, EAT SOME MORE. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A QUICKIE.

Writing instructor, lecturer and early rabble rouser for gay rights, civil rights and women's rights, Victor J. Banis is the critically acclaimed author ("The master's touch in storytelling" Publishers Weekly) of more than 160 published books and numerous shorter pieces in a career spanning nearly a half century. Native of Ohio and longtime Californian, he lives and writes now in West Virginia's beautiful Blue Ridge.