Wednesday, September 2, 2009

M. Christian Exchanges Dirty--and Silly--Words with Me

M. Christian, celebrated erotica author, met with me at a filthy peep show whose location will remain secret. While popping tokens and watching assorted XXX-rated fare, M. took his eyes away from the screen long enough to indulge my ten silly questions fetish.

His hands were busy in the shadows. M. knows how to multi-task. Here are his responses:

1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you eat?

I'd invite Jesus Christ to sit down at my table, with me on the left, of course. I'd then serve him up -- just to see if his body and blood turns to bread and wine in my stomach.

2. Who do you think you are?

I have a penis.

3. What’s your problem?

I have a penis.

4. If you could have one wish, would you give it to me?

No way, Jose: I know you WAY TOO MUCH.

5. Where you at?

37.752238,-122.466892 - physically
Somewhere between birth and death - chronologically
At the intersection of hope and despair - emotionally
Halfway between poverty and wealth - financially

6. If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be?

Writing book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book after book ....

7. What’s your favorite brand of cereal?

Cereal is for horses. I survive on meat and coffee.

8. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

Lionel Barrymore - because he's dead.

9. Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference?

One smells slightly better than the other.

10. Do you have anything you’d like to plug?

Out now: DIRTY WORDS, a reprint of my gay collection (Lethe Books)
Out now: THE VERY BLOODY MARY, my queer vampire novel (Lethe Books)
Out now: BRUSHES, a erotic romance (Phaze Books)
Out now: ME2, a twisted gay thriller (Alyson Books)
Out now: PAINTED DOLL, a cyberpunk erotic thing (Lethe Books)
Out now: FILTHY, a new collection of queer smut (Alyson Books)

Coming soon: THE BACHELOR MACHINE, a reprint of my SF erotica collection (Circlet Press)
Coming soon: LICKS & PROMISE, a new erotica collection (Phaze Books)

And my sites:

M.Christian is an acknowledged master of erotica with more than 300 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and many, many other anthologies, magazines, and Web sites. He is the editor of 20 anthologies including the Best S/M Erotica series, The Burning Pen, Guilty Pleasures, and others. He is the author of the collections Dirty Words, Speaking Parts, The Bachelor Machine, Licks & Promises, and Filthy; and the novels Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Me2, Brushes, and Painted Doll.


  1. Ha, this was your funniest one yet, Rick. Either that or your interviewing weirder and weirder people.

  2. Great responses, Chris! Tell him as much as he asked and not a word more...but that might be a lie too. Hush...Let your books speak volumes.

  3. All the people I interview, Pat, are just plain old run-of-the-mill folks. I don't know what you're talking about.

  4. I was laughing so hard it took me a while to calm down enough to type a comment--but, wow, M. Christian is an amazingly creative chameleon and I can see he's equally at home in a filthy peep show as the Fairmount Hotel where I last saw him dining and scribbling notes for his next "vice." Keep 'em coming ;-)!

  5. Great post Rick. Chris scares me a little, but maybe that was his plan.


    You guys are too funny.


  6. So, the man has a penis and he wants to write many, many books. Awesome! LOL

    Great post, Rick and Chris!


  7. Applause! Barrymore ain't got nothin' on you.

  8. Like Donna, it took me moment to stop laughing before my fingers could type. This was wonderful. A full belly laugh! Loved it.

    Maybe the two's of you's (hahaha) should think about a late night comedy show? I'm just saying.