I caught up with the tireless AM Riley at Walgreens, where I was stocking up on enemas, or M&Ms, or something like that.
Anyway...Ms. Riley was just delightful and very patient for putting up with my silly questions. She did not, however, offer any advice to me for anal cleansing.
1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you eat?
First thing that popped into my head was 'Ding Dongs'. I'm going to go with that. Well, unless I invited Chopin, and then the answer would be Chopin.
2. Who do you think you are?
It's Thursday, right? Well, then, I must be Paris.
3. What’s your problem?
No problem, man. It's ALL good.
4. If you could have one wish, would you give it to me?
Depends. What would you wish for? We might be able to work something out. [RR: I would wish for Depends, so I think this is gonna work.]
5. Where you at?
Here. Where you?
[RR: Right now, luxuriating in a hot bubble bath and hoping I won't get eloctrocuted.]
6. If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be?
7. What’s your favorite brand of cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios. You can eat them one at a time for hours while sweating and fretting over an impossible chapter.
8. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?
Like Martin Brodeur after the goal that lost them the quarterfinals in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Well, not really, but I FEEL like that first thing in the morning.
9. Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference?
This one has always bothered me. I mean, who has an ass that even remotely resembles the ground? Covered with grass? Muddy? Now that's a visual. Anyway, I did what I always do when I don't know the answer, I googled it. Here's what I got, from the UPI Stylebook: "A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. As a journalist, you're expected to know the difference."
10. Do you have anything you’d like to plug?
After that last question? Oh, you mean a book? I have two in the works at MLR press, and an urban vampire book, "Immortality is the Suck" which is available here.
AM Riley is a film editor and slam poet with a passion for erotica, myths, legends, heroes, and vampires. She will lick anything in a hockey jersey. You think she jests. She does not. She grew up in the Midwest from which she escaped at an early age to avoid imminent lynching. Moved to Los Angeles with the rest of her ilk and loves it there. She can be found meditating on the quintessential perfection of the La Brea tar pits at least one Sunday a month.
she's been lucky enough to have some of these published. Visit her website.