Mark did not disappoint me. Next time I'm across the pond in the UK, I plan on thanking him in person for matching my silly questions with answers that not only equaled, but exceeded their inanity. And for my mama, God rest her soul, I would like to also thank him for being a protector of small Italian women.
1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you eat?
My favourite three meals are chicken fajitas, fillet steak and fish ‘n’ chips, and any of them would be good. Who would I eat with, any person, dead or alive? I will go for Paris Hilton, and I’ll pick dead.
2. Who do you think you are?
Spice Girls. 1997.
3. What’s your problem?
No-one plays double guitars anymore.
4. If you could have one wish, would you give it to me?
I don’t think you’d want her. [RR: You are probably right, unless it's Ali Larter.]
5. Where you at?
I live in Loughborough, England which is just south of Robin Hood country (the English version, not Kevin bloody Costner! Who picked him to play Robin Hood?)
6. If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be?
I’d choose sloth. To not care for anything, not even yourself, is total freedom. I’m not a materialistic person, but I always want to achieve more. Once one goal is reached, the next one presents itself, and so on. It means that I will never truly rest. I hope one day that I reach contentment and no longer desire to better myself. I hope I die the day after. Actually, scrap that; I’ll go for booze, instead.
7. What’s your favorite brand of cereal?
I eat porridge in the morning. I usually buy the supermarket’s home brand as it is significantly cheaper. I have one teaspoon of sugar with my warm porridge. Golden syrup is good, too.
8. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?
9. Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference?
I think so. Hang on, just need to pop outside...
OK, now for exhibit B... OUCH!
Right, I just need to work out which one, out of these two, is the earthworm.
Who is Mark Jackman?
I’m Mark Jackman. I am England’s foremost author, scientist, sportsman, musician, hunk, and virgin. My first novel, The Great Right Hope, was released this year by www.ll-publications.com. It is the only novel in the world to combine binge-drinking, benefit-fraud, Saturday night punch-ups, vampires, and dogging. English eccentricity is a curse.