10 Silly Questions with...ME

Okay, it's only fair (and oddly, masturbatory) that I subject myself to those same silly questions I've subjected others to over the past several months.

It was interesting to put myself on the other side of the fence, for once. Hope you don't find my own answers more bizarre or weird than those of my most bizarre and weird subjects.

Or maybe I do. Here we go...

1.  If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you eat?
Since I would be aghast if a dead person showed up at my door for dinner, probably nothing. Since I would be aghast if a live celebrity showed up for dinner, probably nothing. Perhaps for the latter, I would run up the street and get some Thai take-out.

2.  Who do you think you are?

Little Miss Mary Sunshine, spreading it around wherever I go

3.  What’s your problem?

Gas

4.  If you could have one wish, would you give it to me?

No. I'm selfish that way. Besides, do you really need a foot long, um, er, ruler?

5.  Where you at?
In my sweet spot

6.  If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be?

Thumb sucking

7.  What’s your favorite brand of cereal?

Cap'n Crunch...morning, noon, or night

8.  When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

Tori Spelling

9.    Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference?

I do. One is much, much cleaner, but I ain't sayin' which one.

10.  Do you have anything you’d like to plug?
Gerard Butler? Never mind. Of course, Rick, my latest book, Mute Witness, from MLR Press.  Here's the all important blurb:
Sean and Austin's perfect world shatters when Sean's eight-year-old son, Jason, vanishes. When Jason turns up days later abused and unable to speak, small town fingers point to the boy's gay dad as the culprit. Meanwhile, the real villain is close by, intent on ensuring the boy's muteness is permanent.
You can read excerpts and reviews here.