Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Life Advice from Ted Baxter
Mary: "it's not my furniture that needs rearranging, it's my life...my life is dull...how do I change that?"
Ted: "You want to know how to change your life, Mary? I'll tell you how to change your life. I've known you for six years now, I know exactly what's wrong with your life...[each of the following said in a more depressed tone] you wake up, you eat breakfast, you drive to work, you say hello to your friends, you work at your job, you go to lunch, you work some more, you say goodbye to your friends, you drive home, you have dinner, you sit down, you watch television, you read a magazine, you go to sleep. Am I right?"
Mary nods in agreement, head bowed.
Ted [getting up]: "You want to change your life completely, this is what you've gotta do starting tomorrow...[each of the following said in a more upbeat tone] you eat breakfast! [eating motions], you drive to work! [steering wheel motions], you say hello to your friends!, you work at your job!, you go to lunch!, you work some more!, you say goodbye to your friends!, you drive home!, you have dinner!, you sit down!, you watch television!, you read a magazine!, [dramatic finish] and you go...to...sleep!!! [applause]
Mary: "Ted, that was wonderful!...it was profound! And you're absolutely right, it's not what you do, it's how you do it!"