Thursday, February 25, 2016

A Day in the Life of a Writer

My muse Lily and me work together every day.
Sometimes my husband comes home from work and asks who I talked to that day. Often, the answer is nobody or, “I said hello to the guy on the front desk at the gym” or something like that.

Writers’ lives can be lonely and isolated. But I’m not complaining. I do get to live with the people I’ve made up all day long and, unlike real life, I get to decide how things will go for them. I may put them through some awful stuff, but in the end, I usually give them a happy ending.

Anyway, I thought I’d give you an idea of what a day of my writing life looks like.

First, let’s assume I’m in the middle of a work-in-progress because that’s how the bulk of my days go. That’s the meat of the work and of my life.

Surprisingly or not, I do not immediately rise from bed and hit the computer and begin writing. No, I put that off to do the following (in order and these are all, I believe, necessary to facilitate the writing that will come later):

1. Walk the dog. My Boston terrier, Lily, is up early every day. I like to think it’s because she wants to make sure I get up and get to work, but that’s a bit fanciful. Anyway, because we live in a condo in the city, there’s no letting her out into the yard to do her business. I have to get dressed and get her leashed and harnessed.
2. I make coffee, the life-giving elixir that allows me to clear the cobwebs from my head. I know, it’s a bit of an addiction, but it works—and it’s reliable. I usually make some breakfast for myself as well, usually an omelet of some sort.
3. I read. I usually take an hour to read whatever book I’m reading for pleasure currently. Right now, it’s Lisa Unger’s thriller IN THE BLOOD (really gripping!). I am constantly reading a book and I think this contributes powerfully to my own abilities to be a professional storyteller.
4. I meditate. For me, meditation consists of letting go of the clutter that’s in my head and concentrating on what I believe are essential truths, such as we are all part of a universal spirit. I could go on and on about my beliefs, but this is not the place.
5. I head into my office. Since we have a two-bedroom condo, my office is also the guest room, but I have a lovely space set up for myself at the window (which overlooks Seattle’s Lake Union—an inspiring view if there ever was one).
6. I check e-mails and social media. I try to answer what can be answered quickly and save as unread what I need more time to deal with. I check birthdays on Facebook and send out greetings to anyone turning whatever age they’re turning that day. I respond to friend requests and messages. I plot out what I might want to post on Twitter and Facebook and schedule some of it through an application called Hootsuite.
7. I blog. I try to post at least three times a week (often only ending up with two times—blogs are hungry beasts and never satisfied). I might be promoting the work of another writer (good Karma, I think) or pimping my own stuff (a new release, a new review, my thoughts on the craft and the business of writing).
8. I play a game of two of Spider Solitaire. Yes, it’s necessary.
9. I shut off any music I might have playing.
10. I open my current work-in-progress and begin. I start by reviewing what I wrote the day before and intensely edit. This is how I work—I don’t work through rough draft like some people will tell you to do (and by the way, there’s no wrong or right way to create—there’s only the way that works best for you) and then edit later. I edit as I go. It’s an important part of bringing me to the point where I can then move forward in my story. By the time I’m finished reading through the book and making changes I deem necessary, I am already half-immersed in the story and the lives of my characters.

And that’s a pretty standard writing day for me. The rest of the day, I run, do household stuff, and, when needed, do editing or promotional work on things that are already in the publishing stream.

I hope this was interesting and/or illuminating, or at least not boring!

My latest book is Mute Witness.


BLURB
The abuse of a little boy turns a community against a loving gay couple, and nobody comes out of it unscathed.

Sean and Austin have the perfect life: new love, a riverfront home, security. Their love for one another is only multiplied when Sean’s eight-year-old son, Jason, visits on the weekends.

And then their perfect world shatters.

Jason goes missing.

When the boy turns up days later, he's been so horribly abused he’s lost the power to speak. Immediately small town minds turn to the boy’s gay father and his lover as the likely culprits. What was a warm, welcoming community becomes a lynching party out for blood.

As Sean and Austin struggle to stay together amidst innuendo, the very real threat of Sean losing the son he loves emerges. Yet the true villain is much closer to home, intent on ensuring the boy’s muteness is permanent.

BUY
Note: When you buy the paperback from DSP Publications, you get the ebook for FREE.
Amazon  

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Good Karma, Good Books: The Shape of Honey by Ki Brightly



Every Wednesday, I put on my pimp clothes (zoot suits, feathered hats, platform shoes, and the like) and introduce you to something new and wonderful in the literary world. This week, I’m excited to shine a spotlight on The Shape of Honey by Ki Brightly

AUTHOR COMMENT

"The Shape of Honey was an exploration for me. I’m a very character focused writer, and I wanted to take this werewolf, Rolly Witten, who didn’t fit in at all in his pack (for various reasons) and see what he would do out in the world. I wanted to watch him become a better person, grow up, and find his footing. Rolly frequently surprised me as I was writing. The pack has different values than general society, predicated more on keeping their secrets than on “being upstanding citizens”, so he got a lot of leeway even inside the back before he finally broke enough rules to get kicked out.

"Yulian was there when it happened.

"Rolly was not expecting to ever actually be booted.

"I always find myself falling a little in love with one of my characters when I’m writing (as an author, just like a parent, that’s sometimes a no-no because then they get preferential treatment and that’s not good for the story). I thought it was Rolly I fell in love with, but when all is said and done it’s Rolly’s other half Yulian that I loved more. I liked writing Yulian because he’s a character “out of time”. My werewolves can live forever, basically, barring accidents, fighting, and what not. He’s 92 and he grew up in a completely different era than Rolly with different mores and values guiding him. The differences between these two characters are where the relationship growth came from. They both stretched and changed a little to meet in the middle, and that’s just what I wanted. I don’t like do nothing characters, so I wanted something more to be going on with these two than the typical “meet and fall in lust”.

"This book is a slooooow burn. At 350 pages it is also on the longer end of the m/m romance novel spectrum.

"Happy reading!"

BUY


BLURB
Yulian Volkov is an entrepreneur and lone werewolf who hates the city. At a pack meeting, he learns the only member he’s attracted to is being expelled for crimes unspecified. Yulian strikes a deal with the pack leader to allow Rolly Witten to live on his farm and work in his Meadery. Although enjoying handsome Rolly’s company, Yulian must tread carefully, since Rolly doesn’t trust him and the pack doesn’t acknowledge homosexuality exists. Meanwhile, Yulian stealthily courts Rolly by teaching him the value of his wolf side. 

Rolly, who’s known he was gay since he was a teen, has accepted a life of solitude—and a life of crime. He has no desire to relocate. Yet Yulian’s trust in his ability to do honest work builds his confidence. As life is settling well for them, Rolly learns a friend from his old pack had a crush on him, and he’s torn between returning his friend’s feelings or pursuing the budding relationship with Yulian. But that’s not their worst problem. Assassins are trying to take out both wolves, and they need to figure out who wants them dead or all the trust and happiness they’re building together won’t matter.

AUTHOR BIO
Ki Brightly is an author of short and lengthy erotic and romantic (and sometimes both) fiction.

Ki’s hobbies include painting, cooking, eating, and exercising (because of the cooking and eating). Ki is also an established beach bum during the late spring and summer months, which tends to cut into writing time. Occasionally, breaks are taken from the writing process to go to a day job and have snuggles with the husband and kiddos.
Endlessly curious, Ki enjoys reading a variety of books in every genre imaginable, but has been devouring urban fantasy and science fiction of late.

FIND KI ONLINE
Ki Brightly's Blog: www.brightlybooks.wordpess.com
Twitter: @KiBrightly



Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Good Karma, Good Books: Midnight in Berlin by JL Merrow



Every Wednesday, I put on my pimp clothes (zoot suits, feathered hats, platform shoes, and the like) and introduce you to something new and wonderful in the literary world. This week, I’m excited to shine a spotlight on Midnight in Berlin by JL Merrow

AUTHOR COMMENT
"The setting of this book, Berlin, is incredibly special to me. I was fortunate enough to visit the city in the summer of 1989, joining a group to do voluntary work. We were housed in a school in West Berlin that was built right up against the Berlin Wall - the first night I was there, one of the lads took me up to the top floor of the school, and I was able to look out over the spotlit death strip and see the armed guards on the Eastern side. It left a lasting impression, further cemented by a visit to the Haus am Checkpoint Charlie museum, which documented escape attempts from East Germany - both successful and tragically failed. 

"Seeing the Wall come down only a few months later was amazing and almost unbelievable. I've since visited the city again, and fulfilled a long-held ambition of walking through the Brandenburg Gate, which used to be under armed guard just on the Eastern side of the Wall - I have photographs of it from both sides.

"The opening scene of Midnight in Berlin is almost entirely autobiographical, by the way. ;)"
GIVEAWAY
A random commenter (below) can win a free copy of Midnight in Berlin! Winner will be selected by Tuesday, February 23.

BLURB
The hookup from hell…or the ride of his life?
Leon’s drifter lifestyle gives him the freedom to attend as many music festivals as his heart desires. Even the ones that leave him covered in feathers. Wet feathers, thanks to the rain as he hitchhikes back to his hostel. When he’s offered a ride by a good-looking man in a Porsche, Leon thinks it’s his lucky night. Until he discovers his savior from the storm hides a dark secret: he’s a werewolf.

At first glance, Christoph thinks the shaggy stranger walking Berlin’s streets is a rogue werewolf. By the time he realizes his mistake, it’s too late for both of them. Forced to turn Leon into a monster to save his life, Christoph still has to suffer his pack leader’s brutal punishment for endangering them all.

Leon awakens, horrified by what he’s become—but it’s his lover’s fate that spurs him to action. Freeing Christoph is easy, but the aftermath complicates everything as they go on the run, desperate to uncover the secrets their pack leader is hiding. Secrets the pack will kill to protect…


Product Warnings: Take a trip to Europe. Soak up the local culture, meet a creature from your worst nightmares. Contains werewolves behaving badly, clothed and unclothed. Author is not responsible for unexpected, uncontrollable urges to consume massive amounts of, um, bacon.
Available in ebook and paperback:  Samhain  |  Amazon.com 


AUTHOR BIO
JL Merrow is that rare beast, an English person who refuses to drink tea. She read Natural Sciences at Cambridge, where she learned many things, chief amongst which was that she never wanted to see the inside of a lab ever again.  Her one regret is that she never mastered the ability of punting one-handed whilst holding a glass of champagne.

She writes across genres, with a preference for contemporary gay romance and mysteries, and is frequently accused of humour. Her novel Slam! won the 2013 Rainbow Award for Best LGBT Romantic Comedy, and her novella Muscling Through and novel Relief Valve were both EPIC Awards finalists.

JL Merrow is a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association, International Thriller Writers, Verulam Writers’ Circle and the UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet organising team.


Find JL Merrow online at: www.jlmerrow.com, on Twitter as @jlmerrow, and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jl.merrow


Monday, February 15, 2016

People are tweeting about The Couple Next Door!


BLURB
With the couple next door, nothing is as it seems.

Jeremy Booth leads a simple life, scraping by in the gay neighborhood of Seattle, never letting his lack of material things get him down. But the one thing he really wants—someone to love—seems elusive. Until the couple next door moves in and Jeremy sees the man of his dreams, Shane McCallister, pushed down the stairs by a brute named Cole.

Jeremy would never go after another man’s boyfriend, so he reaches out to Shane in friendship while suppressing his feelings of attraction. But the feeling of something being off only begins with Cole being a hard-fisted bully—it ends with him seeming to be different people at different times. Some days, Cole is the mild-mannered John and then, one night in a bar, he’s the sassy and vivacious drag queen Vera.

So how can Jeremy rescue the man of his dreams from a situation that seems to get crazier and more dangerous by the day? By getting close to the couple next door, Jeremy not only puts a potential love in jeopardy, but eventually his very life.

BUY
Dreamspinner Press ebook
Dreamspinner Press paperback
Amazon Kindle
Amazon paperback
AllRomance eBooks

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Two Terrific Release Day Reviews for Mute Witness!


Release day for MUTE WITNESS started off with a bang with two rave reviews from Love Bytes and The Novel Approach. I could not be more grateful!

LOVE BYTES said:
"This is the second gay fiction book that I’ve read this month that really blew me away...I love a book that can make me feel, and this book brought me to tears several times. Overall this was a fantastic read..."
Read the rest of the review here.

THE NOVEL APPROACH said:

"It will definitely keep you caught up in a web of emotions..."

Read the rest of the review here.

BLURB
The abuse of a little boy turns a community against a loving gay couple, and nobody comes out of it unscathed.

Sean and Austin have the perfect life: new love, a riverfront home, security. Their love for one another is only multiplied when Sean’s eight-year-old son, Jason, visits on the weekends.

And then their perfect world shatters. Jason goes missing.

When the boy turns up days later, he’s been so horribly abused he’s lost the power to speak. Immediately small town minds turn to the boy’s gay father and his lover as the likely culprits. What was a warm, welcoming community becomes a lynching party out for blood. As Sean and Austin struggle to stay together amidst innuendo, the very real threat of Sean losing the son he loves emerges. Yet the true villain is much closer to home, intent on ensuring the boy’s muteness is permanent.

BUY
From DSP Publications (ebook)
From DSP Publications (paperback)
Amazon Kindle

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Good Karma, Good Books: Behr Facts by Pat Henshaw



Every Wednesday, I put on my pimp clothes (zoot suits, feathered hats, platform shoes, and the like) and introduce you to something new and wonderful in the literary world. This week, I’m excited to shine a spotlight on Behr Facts by Pat Henshaw

AUTHOR COMMENT
"My dad was a big man, not quite as tall as Abe Behr, the viewpoint character in this book, but probably as burly as Abe. Also like Abe, my father as the oldest on his side of the family was dedicated to taking care of his two sisters and one brother. Dad was the go-to guy if anyone in the family had problems or needed help. Unlike my aunts and uncle, my dad was the silent one in social situations. He was a shrewd businessman, but not a glad-hander. He was the stand-up guy who kept the family with its myriad ups and downs on as even a keel as he could. 
"When I was writing Behr Facts, I often joked with my husband that I was channeling my dad in Abe Behr. More accurately, in the book I am paying homage to my dad and all the other men, no matter what their sexual orientation, who have a strong family ethic and sense of connection to their relatives. 
"My main message in Behr Facts is to the family and friends of these men, who sometimes bury themselves in their efforts to help others. Maybe it’s time for us to let go of our dependence on them and let them have the freedom to find out who they really are and what they want out of life. Maybe it’s time to let them breathe.
I wish my dad had had a chance to do that in his lifetime.t."
GIVEAWAY
A random commenter (below) can win a $10 Starbucks gift card! Winner will be selected by Tuesday, February 16.

BLURB
Big, burly CEO Abe Behr is dismayed to discover someone—possibly a family member—is stealing from Behr Construction, which primarily employs Behr relatives. Abe takes the unprecedented step of hiring an outsider, likeable CPA Jeff Mason, to go over the books and help find the culprit. They are drawn to each other as they talk to workers, including Abe’s two younger brothers and their shifty cousin.
Since he has sacrificed romance all his life to build the business, Abe’s surprised by his feelings for the handsome Jeff. He’s even more shocked when they are confronted by bigotry in the Sierra Nevada foothills community, which is being inundated by gays moving from the San Francisco area. As he and Jeff get closer, Abe must come to grips with coming out to a family and community that aren’t very tolerant. Fortunately, being the head Behr helps him find his footing and grab onto love when it bites him.
BUY


AUTHOR BIO
Pat Henshaw, author of the Foothills Pride Stories, was born and raised in Nebraska where she  promptly left the cold and snow after college, living at various times in Texas, Colorado, Northern Virginia, and Northern California.  Pat enjoys travel, having visited Mexico, Canada, Europe, Nicaragua, Thailand, and Egypt, and Europe, including a cruise down the Danube. 

Now retired, Pat has spent her life surrounded by words:  Teaching English composition at the junior college level; writing book reviews for newspapers, magazines, and websites; helping students find information as a librarian; and promoting PBS television programs.

Her triumphs are raising two incredible daughters who daily amaze her with their power and compassion.  Fortunately, her incredibly supportive husband keeps her grounded in reality when she threatens to drift away while writing fiction.

Find Pat at any of the following places:

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

MUTE WITNESS Releases Today!


I'm excited to announce the re-release of my rather frightening, but very redemptive thriller/love story, MUTE WITNESS.

"The abuse of a little boy turns a community against a loving gay couple, and nobody comes out of it unscathed."

It's a hard book to classify. The publisher files it under mystery/thriller, but there’s also some romance and a more than generous dash of horror—of both the real life variety and, in one instance, the supernatural. If I could make up a genre for Mute Witness, it would be redemption. The book’s all about finding redemption and how love can lead us there.

BLURB
Sean and Austin have the perfect life: new love, a riverfront home, security. Their love for one another is only multiplied when Sean’s eight-year-old son, Jason, visits on the weekends.

And then their perfect world shatters. Jason goes missing.

When the boy turns up days later, he’s been so horribly abused he’s lost the power to speak. Immediately small town minds turn to the boy’s gay father and his lover as the likely culprits. What was a warm, welcoming community becomes a lynching party out for blood. As Sean and Austin struggle to stay together amidst innuendo, the very real threat of Sean losing the son he loves emerges. Yet the true villain is much closer to home, intent on ensuring the boy’s muteness is permanent.

BUY
From DSP Publications (ebook)
From DSP Publications (paperback)
Amazon Kindle

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Good Karma, Good Books: The Boys of Summer by Sarah Madison



Every Wednesday, I put on my pimp clothes (zoot suits, feathered hats, platform shoes, and the like) and introduce you to something new and wonderful in the literary world. This week, I’m excited to shine a spotlight on The Boys of Summer by Sarah Madison

AUTHOR COMMENT
"The Boys of Summer is a unique blend of contemporary and historical romance, as the main characters find themselves crashed on a deserted island in the South Pacific and events there trigger an inexplicable connection to the past."
GIVEAWAY
A random commenter (below) can win an e-copy of The Boys of Summer (or reader's choice of a single story from Sarah's backlist). Winner will be selected by Tuesday, February 9.

BLURB
David McIntyre has been enjoying the heck out of his current assignment: touring the Hawaiian Islands in search of the ideal shooting locations for a series of film-company projects. What’s not to like? Stunning scenery, great food, sunny beaches… and Rick Sutton, the hot, ex-Air Force pilot who is flying him around.

Everything changes when a tropical storm and engine failure force a crash landing on a deserted atoll with a WWII listening post. Rick’s injuries and a lack of food and water mean David has to step up to the plate and play hero. While his days are spent fighting for survival, and his nights are filled with worrying about Rick, the two men grow closer. David’s research for his next movie becomes intertwined with his worst fears, and events on the island result in a vivid dream about the Battle of Britain. On waking, David realizes Rick is more than just a pilot to him. The obstacles that prevented a happy ending in 1940 aren’t present today, and David vows that if they survive this stranding, he will tell Rick how he feels.
BOOK TRAILER

Book trailer link: https://youtu.be/2zGjODd-PhU

EXCERPT
“I don’t think we’ve got much choice.” Sutton’s voice was grim. “We’re lucky to have that much. Hold on, these trees are coming up faster than I’d like.”

Still fighting to keep the nose of the plane up, Sutton guided the recalcitrant aircraft toward the so-called clearing, the ground rising up to meet them far faster than was comfortable. David found himself leaning back in his seat, bracing his hands on the console as the tops of trees scraped the underside of the plane. Branches swiped at the windshield, and David had the sudden impression of being in a car wash scene as written by Stephen King.

“Duck your head!” Sutton barked. “Wrap your arms around your legs!”

“And kiss my ass goodbye?” David shouted, raising his voice over the increasing noise as he obeyed Sutton’s orders.

Incredibly, Sutton laughed. It was an oddly comforting sound. Like everything was somehow going to be all right because Sutton was at the controls.

The moment of humor was gone in a flash. The plane screamed with the sound of tearing metal and the sharp, explosive crack of tree limbs and breaking glass. David kept his head down and his eyes closed, praying to a God he was pretty sure had more important things to do than to keep up with the well-being of one David McIntyre. Despite being strapped in his seat, his head and shoulder thumped painfully against the passenger side door as the plane thrashed wildly. There was a moment of eerie, blessed silence, and for an instant, the assault on the plane seemed as though it had lifted. Eye of the storm, David thought, just before the plane hit the ground.

Someone had left the window open and it was raining on him. How incredibly annoying. He shifted, intent on reaching for the offending window, when a jolt of pain ran through his shoulder and he gasped. When he opened his eyes, nothing made any sense at first. Then he remembered the crash, and realized that his side of the plane was pointing up at the sky. The rain was coming down in a steady stream through the broken windshield. The sound of the rain on the metal hull of the plane was nearly deafening.

He winced at the pain in his neck when he turned to look over at the pilot’s seat. Sutton was slumped to one side in his chair, unmoving. His sunglasses were hanging off one ear.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” David murmured, hastily undoing his seatbelt so he could reach across to Sutton. His skin was cold and damp where David touched it, and adrenaline pounded through David’s veins as though he could jumpstart Sutton’s heart by sending his own pulse beating through his fingertips. “Sutton! Rick!”

David fought to free himself of his seat, twisting for greater access to the other side of the cockpit. When the seatbelt came open, he fell half across Sutton. Sprawled practically in his lap, David could now see the nasty cut on the left side of Sutton’s temple. The pilot’s side of the plane had taken a lot of damage, and David yelped as he encountered a sliver of glass. Bits of the windshield and console were scattered like confetti over Sutton’s jacket. “Sutton!” The lack of response was unnerving. He tossed aside the sunglasses and worked a hand down into Sutton’s collar, feeling frantically for a pulse.

He could have kissed the man when Sutton suddenly groaned.

“Rick, are you all right? Can you understand me?” David began feeling around for additional injuries.

“I could never understand you, McIntyre,” Sutton said in a fair approximation of his slow drawl. Even the half-smile was a good imitation of his usual expression. “Who tours the toughest jungles in the South Pacific dressed to play golf?”

“Hah-hah, very funny, keep your day job. Oh, no, wait. Forget that. You’re not so good at the day job either.” Relief made him almost giddy. They were going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

Until Sutton tried to move and caught his breath painfully.

“What, what is it?” David tried to reach down around the other side of him, to see what the problem was. He felt something wet, warmer than the rain coming in the windshield, and he pulled back his hand to stare at it in shock.

His hand was covered in blood. The metallic odor of it caught him unaware and almost made him gag.

“Shit,” Sutton said mildly. “I seem to be stuck on something.”

Stuck?” David knew he was practically shrieking, but what the fuck was he supposed to do, miles from nowhere, with an injured man impaled on God knows what, who might die and leave him here all alone.

BUY
Dreamspinner Press
Amazon
Barnes & Noble

AUTHOR BIO
Sarah Madison is a writer with a big dog, an even bigger horse, too many cats, and a very patient boyfriend. She is a terrible cook, and concedes that her life would be easier if Purina made People Chow. She writes because it is cheaper than therapy.
Sarah Madison was a finalist in the 2013 Rainbow Awards and is the winner of Best M/M Romance in the 2013 PRG Reviewer’s Choice Awards for The Boys of Summer. The Sixth Sense series was awarded 2nd place for Best M/M Mystery Series in the 2014 PRG’s Reviewer’s Choice Awards. Walk a Mile (Sixth Sense series Book 2) was a finalist in the 2015 Rainbow Awards.


Find Sarah at any of the following places:

Monday, February 1, 2016

My Perfect Date

This is one of my favorite pieces of my own writing. It originally appeared in the collection, Tales from the Sexual Underground, published by MLR Press. I think I like it so much because it demonstrates in a playful and—I hope—poetic way that, when it comes to sexual gratification, there’s often no place like home. Sorry for paraphrasing you, Miss Dorothy Gale!

My Perfect Dateby Rick R. Reed

He knows me, so he knows the best time is a quiet one. We stay in. Dinner, drinks, and of course, the last part, the best part.

He starts off casually, wearing a pair of faded Levis, a white T-shirt worn soft, bare feet, hair still damp from the shower. There’s a CD playing, soft, maybe Oscar Peterson conjuring up Gershwin from his piano. He’s got a few candles lit, but nothing scented. The air in his apartment is clean, with a trace of the soap from his shower lingering.
We sit on the couch and he makes me a drink. He already knows what I like, a dirty martini made with vodka, heavy on the dirt. We laugh about how I like things dirty, but not too much. We keep our minds out of the gutter, at least for now.

After the drinks, the music, the light fading to purple outside, we move to the dining room. Old oak pedestal table, mismatched chairs and cream pillar candles…used before. He makes a light meal, because he knows that later, we won’t want anything too heavy weighing on us. A simple salad, arugula, red onion, plum tomatoes, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. There’s a chicken breast, poached in broth, lemon juice and walnuts, some rice. Strawberries with sour cream and brown sugar for dessert. A glass or two of white wine, an Alsatian Riesling.

We linger over the dinner, slow; the candles burn down. The sky outside fades from purple to navy blue, a glow to the south…city lights. We move to the bedroom, undress slowly.

He knows how to touch me. Knows where to make the pressure slippery and where to make it rough. Knows when to move slowly and when to increase the tempo and when to slow it down again…he doesn’t want things to end too quickly. He knows that my nipples are sensitive and toys with them just hard enough, so I will feel the ghost of his caress in the morning. And all the while: music, orchestrated to ebb and flow, a soundtrack to our passion. We start off with Bach, Mendelssohn, end up with Crystal Method and Prodigy. Romance to filth. And he tells me, the whole time, about past lovers, knowing it excites me as much as his touch. Like the music, he starts off slow and romantic, telling me about his first love, Ron, how they were playful, in love, existing only for each other…so young. He tells me about a particular New Year’s Eve, in a darkened bedroom in Florida, high on pot and champagne and bringing each other the most incredible gifts. But as our passion rises, so does the depravity. He moves on to orgies, nights with strangers fueled by Ecstasy, a frantic, furtive coupling with a Northwestern student in an alley by the el tracks one night in August, fucking each other sweatily while the train crackled and roared above, its human cargo oblivious. He tells me about backroom sex, the smell of poppers, leather, cum and spit in the air, groping, being groped, connecting with shadows. He tells me everything, moving faster and faster, until even his tales and touch blur and I offer up my seed; it covers my belly in viscous arcs.

And I roll over and look at him…in the mirror. He is me.

He is me.