Carl Brookins Is A Silly Man and My 10 Questions Proves It

I caught up with Carl Brookins recently at Heathrow International Airport, where he was waiting to board a flight to Amsterdam, to promote his latest book. Carl explained that he needed some time to unwind every once in a while and that Amsterdam was the perfect place to blow off steam. He then detailed just how he accomplished "blowing off steam" and I can't share any of that here.

What I can share is his delightful answers to my ten silly questions. Read on:

1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you eat?

Roast Side of Beef with local greens from the banks of the river Avon. Willy was poor enough he didn't get much carnivorous protein.

2. Who do you think you are?

A middle-class, ordinary white guy still striving to be a player.

3. What’s your problem?

Doctor, I have this hip/back pain that really interferes with, with, with my err---um--intimate relations. [RR: TMI! And I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a doctor. Although I have played with one.]

4. If you could have one wish, would you give it to me?

No! Why on earth would I ever do that? [RR: Because my wish was to give Carl Brookins a billion dollars, the Pulitzer Prize for Literature, and the ability to be sexually irresistible, but it's too late now!]

5. Where you at?

I'm about two/thirds of the way to my grave, but I still got hope! I'm still walking upright and breathin' on my own.

6. If you had to choose only one vice, what would it be?

Define "vice."

7. What’s your favorite brand of cereal?

Anything with lotsa oats. I once was in a study.......ah, you don't wanna hear about that. [RR: Once again: TMI.]

8. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

The ghost of Christmas Past.

9. Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground? And if so, how do you tell the difference?

Of course I do! You've heard the expression, "Go pound sand?" Have you ever tried? Then there's gravel....

10. Do you have anything you’d like to plug?

Is that an offer? What do you know about plumbing? I have this shower drain that's been giving me all kinds of trouble. Oh. Wait. The ale's leaking out of that old keg again....

Carl Brookins sums his life up thusly: "I'm a Minnesota boy with multiple academic majors. My careers have spanned public television, cable TV, higher education and freelance photography. Now I write crime fiction: a sailing series, a P.I. series and a traditional series in a non-traditional college. The Case of the Deceiving Don is my latest."

Visit his website.

"The classic detective story is alive and kicking in Carl Brookins' The Case of the Deceiving Don... A fun and satisfying romp through the suburban underbelly of the Twin Cities."
— Pete Hautman, author of The Prop