I never claimed to be normal.
Anyway, maybe the reason I'm thinking about vampires so much is that I am reading two Sookie Stackhouse novels in a row (Definitely Dead and All Together Dead and, at the same time, watching season 3 of True Blood on HBO).
I am sort of on vampire overload, which brought me around to thinking about if I'd want to be one. It didn't take me long to come up with the answer, kind of like Amy Winehouse's response to rehab. Do I want to be a vampire?
I said, "no, no, no."
The answer surprised me. After all, through most of my younger years I was enthralled with the undead, vicariously living (deading?) out their experiences in such books and movies as The Hunger, Interview with the Vampire, and 'Salem's Lot. I even wrote my own vampire book, In the Blood, which you see pictured above. Maybe when I wrote it, I was beginning to see the tortured, not-so-glamorous side of the undead.
See, here's the thing. I want to die. No, I don't mean I want to die right now, give me at least a couple more decades, maybe more. But the prospect of being immortal doesn't hold the appeal it did for me when I was say, sixteen.
I'd like to think with age comes at least a smidgen of wisdom and that wisdom tells me that being immortal would be a nightmare. Now that I'm a little older, I can see the many stages I've already passed through and know that there are more to come. These stages have taught me who I am as a person and have resulted in at least a little growth (and I'm not talking physical growth). I have accomplished things I wanted to accomplish. I have been married, had a son, found a wonderful life partner, published a few books. There's a progression there. The responsibilities of being immortal are daunting. I need a rest! I can't imagine hundreds or thousands of years more of trying to fill up my time.
But that's not the worst of it. Being older has also taught me something very serious. It's taught me about loss. I've lost my father and my mother. My grandma. Beloved aunts, uncles, and cousins. Each loss takes a little something more away from me. It would be a true horror to live forever, every few decades losing all of your loved ones while you go on. That's terrifying. That's tragic.
So, if any bloodsucking fiend knocks on my door one night, I will turn him away with a polite, "No thank you."